


Are you ready for my mixtape?

by Scatteredabout



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Drabble, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:47:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27406012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scatteredabout/pseuds/Scatteredabout
Summary: What better way to win over Spiderman than by serenading him relentlessly in the middle of the night?
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 108





	Are you ready for my mixtape?

” If you wanna be my lover, gotta get with my friends, make it last forever friendship never eeeeeeends-”. Deadpool’s boisterous voice rung out loudly as he made his way down the empty ally. 

“Hey wait a minute! “Deadpool stopped dead in his tracks. 

“That’s not very lovey dovey. No no gotta have the right sentiment”. 

The man looked lost in thoughts for a moment before he exclaimed seemingly to no one “Well do you know any songs about lovely heroic spiders with a bomb ass booty and presumably the most gorgeous brown eyes ever seen?!”. 

This was met by another short pause before he tsk’ed excessively. “No didn’t think so- Uh what about this?”. Deadpool put down the monstrously big boom box he had been carrying with a thud. He looked up towards the small second story window illuminating the narrow ally with a soft yellow light. Placing himself right under the window, Deadpool cleared his throat noisily, and immediately went into a coughing fit.

“Gotta stop smoking,” he wheezed when he got his breath back “ugh what am I saying? It’s not like it will kill me” he laughed. Taking a deep breath, Deadpool pressed play and broke into song. 

“When a maaaaan loves a spiiiiiiiider” 

“Can’t keep his mind on nothin’ else-”. 

Deadpool’s emotional and frankly quite off-key singing was abruptly cut off by a hissing cat scrambling out of the nearby dumpster, ready to fight the being with the heinous voice. The cat took one look at the massive red and black clad man and gave a meek disgruntled hiss before wisely slinking away towards the ally’s opening. 

“Tough crowd tonight! Luckily I only need to impress one bootylicious super snack!” Deadpool snickered before loudly proclaiming “Yes, that’s a great idea! “. 

Deadpool changed the music and Beyonce’s powerful voice filled the air for a second, before Deadpool’s bellowing voice dominated the song. 

“I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly, 

I don’t think you’re ready for this 

‘Cause my body’s too bootylicious for ya baby “. 

Deadpool showed of his many talents by following a quite strenuous dance routine all the while wriggling his butt and looking expectantly up at the window. As the last tones died out Deadpool posed with his hands on his hips facing the window with a shit eating grin on his face and waited. 

And waited. 

“What the fuck?! That number deserved at least a snarky remark!” Deadpool huffed loudly. 

“Spidey! “He whined. 

“Spidey, let down your hair!” 

The weak yellow light from the window taunted him with its silence. 

Deadpool glared back. 

He fished out his phone from his hip pouch and dialed a number from memory. His call was picked up on the third ring and a sleepy voice answered. 

“’Hello?” Spiderman said sounding like someone who just woke up from a deep sleep. 

“Hey Baby-boy or should I say Juliet? Romeo is here, ready to serenade the shit out of you!” Deadpool turned on the boombox and Celine Dion’s Endless Love blasted through the night air at a deafening volume.

“Wade what are you doing ?!” Spiderman laughed through the phone. 

Deadpool leaned up against the brick wall twirling an imaginative phone cord around his glowed fingers. “Nothing much boo, what are you doing?” he smiled widely. 

“Wade you ass! It’s the middle of the night and it’s my day off” Spiderman berated him without being able to hide the humor in his voice. 

“Baby-boy you know how I keep asking you out for a nice dinner and a dance and you keep – “ 

“Well what I remember is you asking me to do the “dirty tango” with you in the middle of a fight with alien robots and then getting blown up-” Spiderman interjected before getting cut off again. 

“- so, I looked to the most romantic modern movies and I got this perfect idea and it goes like this; you, me, a boombox and a little dance I’d like to call the tango of loooove”. 

“-splattering your brain matter all over my new suit!” Spiderman finished with disgust clear in his voice. 

“Ah…. So, is that a no?” 

Spiderman let out a long sigh “It’s a no to the dancing, but… “, he hesitated “I’m really sorry ‘bout cancelling taco Tuesday, school got super busy”. 

“Nah that’s okay Baby-boy, gotta keep up the excellent grades, you big nerd!” 

Peter huffed quietly “Yeah but I’m still sorry though”.

Deadpool shuffled his feet awkwardly “I just wanted to check up on you Spidey, I missed you”. 

“Me too” Peter said quietly before awkwardly clearing his throat “Now I’m kind of sorry for what’s about to happen to you”. 

“Whatd'ya mean?” 

“Well you remember my neighbor Mrs. Rubio? “

“The angry grandma who hit me with her frying pan that one time?” 

“Yes, exactly and if you haven’t noticed you are currently blasting Celine Dion at full volume at one in the morning and I’m not the only one having to get up early tomorrow.”

The door to Deadpool’s left sprung open and slammed into the wall with a thunderous bang. 

“Oh shit,” Deadpool whispered followed by a string of “¡Lo siento! please! Ow lady! Hey stop please!” 

Peter ended the call with a small laugh before he finally turned off the light and went to bed. He was lulled back to sleep by the sound of Deadpool being hit over the head with a frying pan repeatedly, while being cursed out in Spanish by an otherwise sweet Mexican grandmother.


End file.
